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Plus, I dont know the Pokemon metagame or anything, but this looks genuinely extremely viable as a brutal attacker

And to be clear, we mean it when we say that cards from Special Guests can be powerful : Special Guests will continue into future Magic sets, featuring a unique set symbol and collector numbers

Mother Spider Splitter X DARK Level 5 [ InsectEffect ] ATK 0 DEF 2300 If you control no monsters, you can Special Summon this card (from your hand)

It's all here, and more

Pull rate from Regular Packs: 1.76% The estimated pull rate for Alolan Golem (Celestial Guardians) from a Regular Pack is approximately 1.76%, meaning you might need to open around 57 Regular Packs to obtain it